Friday 26 July 2013 at 14:07 Posted by Shadley Hax 0 Comments

I dont really have a lot anymore. I think thats because all the confidence I had, stemmed from drugs and alcohol and this overwhelming bravado that got me pretty much everything I wanted. But this is now and time has changed me. Im a better person but Im not without my wounds and it's been very hard to cope over the last however many years. I've had very little that has actually properly helped with the issues I had/have. Fortunately I have a handful of people who are worth their weight in gold and some who are worth twice that.

However, one of the things that cutting is teaching me is that really, if you put in the time and the effort, you get something back. Its not always tangible and it's not always something that other people appreciate or even f*cking understand, but whatever the hell it is, you have it. For me that's the ability to cut. Sure I have other things as well; I fix computers, I'm not bad with a balisong, I can still code in Pascal and my tuskamaki is making good progress but the thing that stands out the most is definitely the feeling I get from coming back inside after 20 minutes of dry cutting and knowing my angles are improving.

And now, the point of this post I spose.
Its a big step for me to post stuff online because my response to non constructive criticism has not been good in the past. I dont know if its a good thing that I'm posting videos but it feels good because itll help me improve in something that I enjoy more than anything I've tried my hand at for a long time. On the other hand, the internet is a place where I could get knocked back a lot.

spose it'll be a learning experience either way. ;)

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